Hire a Professional or ......

I came across this article on the website Blissfully Domestic in the Wedded Bliss section. It is written by Carrien a former bride reflecting on the true meaning of her wedding day. She ultimately discovered that the truth is that the important part of the wedding is the fact that you are getting married. She does however discuss some of what went wrong on the day of and included this little nugget...

...the DJ didn't start the dance in time because he was my BIL(brother-in-law) and out drawing graffiti on our getaway car and there were key elements that were missing from part of the ceremony...

This happens all too often. What should be a very well orchestrated and stress free part of the day...music/entertainment...gets little attention and even less budget in the planning stages and then is the area that is most awkward, disappointing and obvious on the day of the wedding when something goes wrong. It won't matter how great the food was, how beautiful the tables looked or how stunning you were in your dress if the guests are left feeling that things were disorganized and they didn't have a good time. That will be their memory! All the other careful planning and attention to detail will be for naught because the guests are distracted.
Hiring a Full-Time professional Wedding Entertainer eliminates this distraction. YES it costs more than you thought it might but it is an investment in your peace of mind and insurance that all of your hard work, all of the money spent and time taken to make things just the way you want them, won't be overlooked because your BIL, or some part-time weekend DJ missed their cues, didn't know what they were doing and left you with what you paid for. Hire a professional.

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Tips to control wedding reception expenses

I do my best to try and find good solid advice that I can share with my clients both here on the blog and when we are working together to plan their weddings. Most of what is on the popular bridal sites is the same regurgitated stuff and some of it is quite frankly sketchy and over simplified. It is always refreshing to come across a thoughtful and spot on list of recommendations, particularly when it comes to controlling costs, something many are concerned with this year.

Today I found just such a website with just such a list. The website is Elegala.com. They have compiled a practical list of the Top 10 Ways to Save on Wedding Costs

If you are looking for honest and practical ways to cut costs without sacrificing your dreams there's a good place to start.

I would echo the advice of Tip #4 Enlist a Pro and extend it past a wedding coordinator and on to your wedding entertainer. Hire your professional coordinator to help you to get discounts from vendors and on goods. Then hire a professional Wedding Entertainer to execute the plan that you and the coordinator worked so hard to get just right. Putting a perfect plan, in the hands of an amateur or "weekend" DJ is akin to handing a kid a loaded rifle and telling him to go get supper. Unless you have a really rare kid, you'll be pretty hungry that night, or worse.

Ok that may not be the most elegant analogy but you can see what I am going for here. Don't gamble with the investment you have made in your reception however big or small. Hire a Professional Wedding Entertainer and then enjoy your reception knowing that everything will be handled just the way you wanted it to.

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FYI - The parent company of the above referenced blog is Hawthorn Publications. While I agree with the wisdom expressed in this particular article I find elements of Hawthorn's business practices distasteful bordering on illegal. Hawthorn solicits Catering Halls and offers to create a "book" for them which showcases their venue and their preferred vendors. There is no charge to the venue from this book. All the venue has to do is give the salesperson from Hawthorn their "preferred" vendor list. The sales person contacts the vendors on the list and offers them advertising in this book for anywhere from $250 - $2000 or more depending on size of ad and location of venue. If vendors do not pay they are no longer considered "recommended" or "preferred" Not because they're no longer the best choice but simply because they wouldn't PAY for the referral. I'm pretty sure here in NY State that this violates Rico racketeering laws but I don't rely on venues for referrals so I haven't looked too far into it. I get 99% of my referrals from PREVIOUS CLIENTS! My Brides & Grooms are AWESOME and they recommend me directly to their friends. I don't pay them for this word of mouth advertising. They receive nothing from me for referring their friends. So why do they do it? I guess you'd have to ask them. I prefer to believe that it's because they want their friends to get EXACTLY the kind of attention that they received when I DJ'd for them. My clients are THE BEST! Thank you all for allowing me to be your DJ in the past and for referring me to your friends. I work as hard as I do for each and every one of you and I promise that will always be the case for the friends your send to me!! - J

An interesting thought..

I am a frequent reader of Blue Orchid Designs and the blog written by it's founder Liene. Today I came across this post http://www.blueorchidblog.com/2009/01/your-wedding-budget-does-not-define-you.html on twitter.
I could not agree more with the statement that your wedding budget does not define you. Your wedding reception should be an honest reflection of you and your fiance. In the end it is a celebration of the much more important event. Your ACTUAL wedding. It is an opportunity to share with family and friends the joy you are declaring to the world at having found that special person with whom you want to spend your life. A lavish wedding will not turn your life around. It won't make you a better person. It won't make people like you more or think more highly of you.

This morning I received a phone call from a groom seeking pricing information for a Photo Booth for his reception. He indicated that he had a budget amount for the rental and wanted to know if I could adjust the pricing to meet their budget. Setting that request aside for a moment I expressed my congratulations and told him that I was truly happy to hear that he and his fiance were looking forward to sharing their special day with their loved ones. Then as I have had to do many times in the past, I had to explain that I would be unable to accommodate his request to lower the price of the booth and in fact that the price for rental would be increasing this Saturday following the Bride's World Bridal Show. I pointed out the fact that we offer the only professional photo booth in New York State for less than $1,000.00 and that our prices were already the best around. He replied.."I know, that's why we called you." I wished him the best and we ended the call. I don't know what their overall budget is but here is a picture of the venue. This is no bargain basement event. I think sometimes wedding planning causes people to stretch themselves in an effort to have their reception speak about their position, success, or stature. This is unfortunate because once the party is over you are still you, only now you're married and in many of these cases in debt. Your guests will each take away their own impression of the day and you really have little control over that.

Devise a budget that works for you. Plan a party that is a reflection of who you are as a couple and enjoy this special moment. Hire professionals to protect the investment you are making, and make due without those things that don't fit into the budget. In the end you'll be glad you used your head, while following your heart. You'll still be married with or without Photo Booth pictures if you can't fit them into the budget and you'll be glad that you aren't paying interest on your memories for years to come.

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Who Pays for What?

Here are some old-school breakdowns—with a modern twist

Okay, time to have that cash chat. Get together with every single person who might contribute to the total cost of the wedding. That means all parents, you and your fiancé, and anyone else with a financial interest (may you be so lucky as to have an eccentric and wealthy aunt). This is the fastest way to find out how big you can dream. (And, speaking of big, this is probably the time to ask both sides to submit a first-draft guest list. You'll need it sooner than you think!)

More and more often today, weddings are paid for by a two-family counsel—and more than 60 percent of brides and grooms are paying for at least part of the costs as well. This makes it pretty clear that the old rules of divvying up the wedding bills simply no longer apply. What follows here is a slightly updated version of the traditional who-pays-for-what breakdown to help you put things in perspective. Bring it to your money talk to help the conversation along.

Tradition, Modern Style

Bride
• Gifts for bridesmaids
• Lodging for bridesmaids
• Couple's personal stationery and thank-you notes
• Wedding programs/guest book

Groom
• The bride's engagement ring
• The marriage license
• Officiant's fee
• Rental or purchase of his formalwear
• Lodging for groomsmen
• Gifts for the groom's attendants
• Boutonnieres for self and groomsmen, as well as flowers for both mothers and grandmothers (it's much more common today for flowers to be paid in one lump sum, usually by the bride's family)
• The bride's bouquet (see above) bride and groom:
• The wedding bands
• The honeymoon (in very traditional families, this is still considered the groom's expense)

Bride's Family
• Engagement and wedding pictures
• Wedding invitations
• Wedding consultant, if applicable
• Bridal ensemble
• Ceremony fees: rental of synagogue or chapel, chuppah, aisle carpets, or other decorating items
• Flowers: reception, ceremony, bridesmaids' bouquets and fathers' boutonnieres (see Groom for more on wedding flowers)
• Reception: site fees, caterer, food, bar, gratuities, decorations
• Music: ceremony, cocktail hour and reception
• Bridesmaids' luncheon (a traditional gesture of thanks)
• Transportation for bridal party to ceremony and reception

Groom's Family
• The rehearsal dinner (optional) or any other expense they elect

Bridesmaids
• Bridal shower
• Bridesmaid dress and shoes (flowergirl/ringbearer attire is paid for by the child's parents)
• Any traveling expenses
• Bachelorette party (optional)

Ushers
• Rental of formalwear
• Bachelor party (optional)

Guests
Traveling and lodging expenses (even if you're having a destination wedding, guests pay their own way)

Bucking the Trends

These are the most common ways that the old guidelines of who-pays-for-what are being adapted to reflect the multi-host wedding that is so popular today.

Groom's Family
• All beverage and liquor service
• Limousines
• Music for the reception
• Photography and/or videography

Bride and/or Groom
• Bride's ensemble
• Wedding flowers
• All wedding stationery, including invitations, announcements, and thank-you notes
This content originally appeared in Modern Bride magazine