Who's supposed to be in charge at a wedding reception? The Wedding DJ or the Wedding Planner (or Wedding Coordinator). Answer: Wedding Planner...when there is one....but hang on! My goal is to illustrate how misguided the us vs. them mentality truly is......
Ultimately the goal of a great wedding plan is to make it appear to those in attendance that the party just happened perfectly all on its own. When all of the elements...music, flowers, decor, food, etc.add up to be greater than the sum of their individual parts you have been a part of a "perfect" party. Achieving this "nuptial nirvana" starts with a complete understanding of the Bride & Grooms intentions for the reception. Getting their vision is the key to success. If that vision is communicated to all the parties involved they can work together to ensure that success. When the vendors are not all on the same page it is a recipe for disaster. Here are some examples of vendor miscues that illustrate this potential problem. (These are in no particular order and do not represent any particular vendor or event...they are anecdotal and from many different sources)
"Photographer asks DJ to announce group photos just as open dancing starts"
"DJ lines up bridal party according to his script, Bride & Planner re-order the bridal party to match the order from the church"
"Photographer takes the Bride & Groom to do requested pictures just before the Parents dances are to take place."
"Planner asks DJ to stop the general dancing so that the Cake can be cut"
"DJ announces that dinner is to be served but fails to have the Minister say special blessing"
Now I know all of those have something to do with the DJ but that's for good reason. I am a DJ and the DJ tends to be the nexus point of the various services at the actual reception. The responsibility for making announcements and initiating "formal activities" falls to the DJ who is the defacto "spokesperson" for the Bride & Groom. So does that mean that the DJ is right in all of the above scenarios? NO WAY! Not by a long shot! In fact any DJ who has experienced any of the above can locate the nearest mirror to find the guilty party. All of the scenarios above are the direct result of poor communication. When vendors share information and communicate they avoid these problems and many others. Sadly far too often vendors get territorial claiming "this" or "that" as their particular part of the reception losing sight of the common goal....achieving that "perfect" party that will have the Bride & Groom referring EVERYONE for years to come.
I have heard planners say "The DJ wasn't willing to relinquish control" This is a problem. Too often the DJ is forced into the role of "Planner" when no professional has been hired to fill this role. It can be hard to trust that another professional is going to do the same great job you would particularly if you failed to communicate with that professional prior to the event (which is absolutely unacceptable on both parts...DJ & planner!) You can almost be guaranteed they won't do things exactly the way you would. But consider this... the professional wedding planners job (*learn what an experienced Wedding Coordinator brings to your event read this http://weddingjeannieblog.blogspot.com/2011/01/wedding-coordinator-vs-venue.html) is so much more than the order of the events at a wedding reception and how and when they are presented. They are the impetus for most every decision that resulted in something tangible at a wedding reception. It is quite likely that they have had more discussions with the Bride than any other vendor and have a better idea of what the bride is trying to achieve. Failing to recognize this fact is unprofessional at best and down right inexcusable at worst. True the wedding planner isn't my client and I am certainly not going to do anything that I know will not be professional, or appropriate just because they told me too but they ARE the professional the Bride hired to handle the planning of the reception. If I have spent time, prior to the reception, discussing the Bride's plan with the planner, we will both have a clear understanding of what needs to be done. The roles to be filled by each will be well defined and complimentary. The result? That natural, organic, "perfect" party feeling!
I am aware that not everyone who claims that they do what I do ("sure I'm a pro wedding dj...on the weekend"...ugh!) is representing themselves in this way. It is my firm belief that as a result many Wedding Planners may have preconceived notions or even outright disdain for the "Wedding DJ." Believe me I understand. But when a FT Professional Wedding DJ calls you on the phone 6 months before the reception to ask you for a meeting you might want to recognize that something different is going on. Take the meeting, then schedule another, and another (as many as it takes) so that you can help one another to achieve your mutual goal of a happy client. I prefer to do my final client meeting with the planner in attendance so there are no misunderstandings. Difficult to schedule? Certainly! But when this meeting is the 2nd or 3rd time the planner and I have met you wouldn't believe the impact on the client! They practically float out of the office assured that their reception will be flawless and they affirm their decision that the investment that they made in professional vendors was a bargain! THAT is powerful! THAT is where endless referral work comes from! THAT results in happy clients and guests and parties that people talk about for years and isn't that the goal?
My professional experience with Wedding Planners has for the most part been extremely positive. When I find myself working with a professional, experienced planner I know that I am going to be able to focus all of my attention on entertaining, providing the Bride & Groom, their friends and family with an experience that will feel spontaneous and natural regardless of how highly organized and planned it truly is.
